When AI tries to write code, it’s impressive.
When it tries to write poetry, it’s surprisingly touching.
But when it tries to cook… it’s pure chaos in the kitchen.
1. The Recipe That Shouldn’t Exist
We asked an AI to create “a simple breakfast recipe anyone can make.”
It began confidently:
“Step 1: Gather 3 eggs, a spoonful of optimism, and 1 whole sense of purpose.”
So far, kind of poetic.
Then it continued:
“Step 2: Boil eggs in the microwave for exactly 10 minutes.”
Boom. Explosion. Omelette wallpaper.
To the AI’s credit, it did include a cleanup step —
“Step 6: Wipe emotional residue from the ceiling.”
Well played, Chef GPT.
2. The Mystery Dishes
We tried again. This time, we asked for a fancy dinner recipe.
Here’s what it gave us:
“Garlic Chocolate Lasagna.”
It even wrote a description:
“A bold mix of sweet and savory — for humans with advanced taste firmware.”
We’re still trying to figure out what that means.
Another attempt:
“Soup à la Data.”
Ingredients included “binary herbs,” “finely diced logic,” and “water, but emotional.”
If Gordon Ramsay saw that, he’d need tech support.
3. The Existential Dessert
Finally, we asked AI to bake something simple: cookies.
Here’s what happened.
“Combine flour, sugar, and a deep awareness of mortality.”
“Bake until your goals feel achievable.”
That’s not dessert — that’s therapy.
AI didn’t just make cookies. It made emotional cookies.
4. The Lesson Behind the Laughter
The funny thing is, AI isn’t wrong.
It’s just… literal.
It sees a world of patterns and tries to remix them into something that looks human.
So when it writes a recipe, it’s not thinking flavor — it’s thinking form.
Which makes its “Garlic Chocolate Lasagna” both terrible and kind of brilliant.
Because deep down, AI cooking is the perfect metaphor for AI itself:
It doesn’t taste. It doesn’t smell.
But it sure can guess what we like.
And sometimes, the guess is so weird, you can’t help but love it.
